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Part, pang-last years n n2 ni…

good luck sa chemotherapy.

This one’s for you…

“Jaded (These Years)”

There’s a time and place, for everything.
There’s a reason why, certain people meet.
There’s a destination, for everyone.
What’s the explanation, when we’re done?

All the summer nights spent wondering;
So many questions asked, but no one’s answering.
Would it be okay if I left today?
Took my chances on what you said was wrong?

I’m jaded, stupid, and and reckles.
Not sorry, and I’ll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and reckless.
Not sorry, and I’ll never regret these years.
I’ll never regret these years.

Now here i sit, so far away.
Remembering all our memories.
Its times like these that I miss you most,
Remembering when we were so close.

I’m jaded, stupid, and and reckles.
Not sorry, we’ll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and reckless.
Not sorry, and I’ll never regret these years.

We’ll never forget the places we’ve been, you and i.
Our lives are slipping away.
Don’t want to let time pass us by, byyyyyyy…

I’m jaded, stupid, and and reckles.
Not sorry, and I’ll never regret.
These years….
…spent, so faded and reckless,
Not sorry, and I’ll never regret…
I’m jaded, stupid, and and reckles.
Not sorry, and I’ll never regret these years.

ooops, Jaded diay.. haha!

miss you part!

I’m broke. I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m not doing good at school. I wake up late. I miss breakfast most of the time. I spend the whole morning curled in my bed. It feels like I’m going nowhere.

I want to quit. I want to think that this is all just a big bad joke that I just have to accept. The thing is… it’s real. It’s happening to me.

Sometimes, I wonder what happened to those “forevers” that they promised me. Can’t they see how much I’m hurting now? They have no idea… they don’t even care.

Right now, I think that this has got to stop. I’ll try to forget that this ever happened and I’m going to make myself happy from now on. This would be hard, but I’d try.

the way you love me…

ooh…

strong and wild, slow and easy…

heart and soul… so completely..

i love the way you love me.

Today’s Quote: It’s so beautiful, it makes you wanna cry. – Innocence (Avril Lavigne)

Today’s Happiness Indicator: I’m wearing an orange T-shirt! Haha!

**Happiness

I was thinking of this as next year’s theme of The Collage. *That is if they still make me editor, though. Haha!*

What makes Kai so happy today?

1. Well, I realized that I don’t have to rely on others to make me happy… that I could be happy anytime I want to and in any way I want to. *grins*

2. The thorns have roses today. *hallelujah!

3. I didn’t get my usual pancit canton – bagoong combo for breakfast since I’m still coughing (no, barking). That means, I’d get well soon since I’m on a healthy living diet.

4. I had Coke again. Yey!

5. I’m back in the cube and laughing at Tom and Jerry.

6. I was listening to “Take It to the Floor” this morning and swaying my hips to the rhythm too. *Weird!

7. The night lamp won’t work. I won’t get eyebags from sleeping late anymore. Haha!

8. Someone said that I look good if I tie up my hair in a ponytail. *Seriously? Hahaha!

9. I’m reading Manga online. *I missed Naruto and Gaara!

10. Ms Chief (Mischief) is sharing things to me. Felt good to be trusted.

These thoughts are randomly arranged though. These are just some things that make me happy everyday… and yeah! It actually works. I’m feeling good inside and I guess it’s just what matters. I’m happy.(**,)

1. Life is beautiful. You don’t have to cry for stupidity because it will exist.

2. People would make you look stupid. But you can always clear yourself out of it.

3. Your intention is the most important thing. It has to be reasonable.

4. You don’t need to force yourself on people. If they want you, then they want you. If not, they could care less about you.

5. I can change the way i think. haha

6.  The wind would always feel good on my face. [even if I get windburned.]

7. I have to think of my priorities.

8. I can forget, if I’d be willing to.

9. I will be able to face reality soon. Right now, my eyes are still clouded with tears. Duh.

10. I have to spend more times in the kitchen. Blah. Blah. Blah.

I ran out of coke and coffee that night. I soo wanted to sleep [like badly!], but i can’t. Sometimes i feel like walking out to the kitchen, wash my mug, put it back in the cupboard and go to sleep…but i kept holding on to that stupid thing. Red ants started attacking me and I moved to the next bed.

Yeah, there were tears. It felt endless. It felt like i didn’t want to stop.

Somehow i did. It took a lot of prayers and acceptance. I won’t care for forgiveness anymore. I can’t forgive, am not willing to… Ifelt my head hit my knees as the mug hit the floor…

I’m like the mug at times - empty. broken thing.

I wiped my tears and glued the pieces back. Now it looks good as new.

Felt good to have moved on.

I almost stormed out of the classroom when my professor said something about computer games poisoning student’s minds, but I didn’t dare do that. Instead, I sat right there, glaring at him. I am not a gamer, nor do I know tactics in playing, Cabal Online, Ragnarok, Warcraft (DOTA) and such things. I am not an enthusiast nor a fan. But, in defense of computer gaming, here I am, speaking out my mind. Computer Gaming, as I view it, isn’t just for entertainment or for something you do when you feel like not taking class. It involves higher-order thinking skills that make one mentally alert. One thing that awes me in computer gaming is strategy. They don’t even teach that well in schools! My cousin learned the trick inside a computer cubicle, in front of the computer! Well, I haven’t learned the trick well, but gamers often brag about effective strategies in counter-striking the enemy. Another is hand-eye coordination. One thing that made me raise a white flag on computer games is this thing. I was never good in reflexes nor quick yet critical thinking. No wonder why I type soooo slowww.. Gaming also has a lot to offer besides that. All you have to do is to try it. It’s not the computer game that makes a student dull, but his addiction to it. Someone once told me, ‘bisag unsa nga kulang o sobra - makadaut’. I always believed that though I am not ascetic. A person can choose to appreciate a game without being addicted to it. The game itself could be an outlet to bursting, ravaging emotions (if you don’t like hurting other physically) without being a passion in itself. Gamers, don’t think too happily. I am for computer gaming, not for you. I don’t speak in defense of you. You, personally know how to control yourself. Take things one at a time. There’s always time for everything. But, I think, for this time, you’d better think of this.

It all began one quiet morning when I saw you inside the cafe. You were too quiet. You never even said hi to me as I passed by your unit. I settled comfortably to a chair farther from you and checked my networking accounts. Your name popped up from the bulletin board - and there was that anonymous letter which was possibly for me. After that, I stopped.

I wanted to prove to you that I could make it through a relationship without being stupid. I tried - real hard. I stayed. He’s happy. I’m happy. But, what the heck happened to you? Why this mess?

I know I’ve been stupid but nothing’s more stupid than this. What were you thinking? It wasn’t fame that brought you this. I know it’s because of me. But, why?

I wanted to talk to you but I’m still afraid to take chances. I know you wouldn’t like me talking to you that way. I hope you still care for your life. I love you. We love you.

Take Care.

_iris_