immediate reactions

I love You.
You may not hear it
from me always
but
I love You–
I really do.
Sometimes,
I wondered why I
was able to put up with you
as you did
with me…
I even thought
you were foolish enough
                    to really
understand me…
I know,
sometimes you don’t–
but
        you didn’t leave.
You didn’t give up on me.
That’s why,
                i Love you.
For being honest with me
despite the risk
that i may not like what you do.
For not counting
the many apologies I owe
when I
make you worry.
For
staying immune
to my childish acts
and–
            stupid thoughts.
For staying calm
despite the lash of
angry, unthinkable words
i spit out.
For simply being there…

I love you.
though I know
you could never
                be perfect.
Though you act
really "discouraging" most times…
Though I had a lot of
disappointments
                        in you.
It doesn’t matter,
        I love you.

But I don’t have
the right
to hold you long.
Freedom.
It’s all yours now.
You weren’t really mine–
and perhaps,
        you’ll never be.

I love you–
                    so much…
That I had to set you free.

-tokai

I met four very nice persons who helped me see life in a better way. They know themselves, but I don’t know if I had given them enough thanks. They’ve been there to help me brighten my life and I’m so glad I have them.

Jaacen,jam,orval & charles….

Thanks a lot.

Ok, I lost him–the 2nd time.

Ok, it did hurt but like Jaacen said, he’s never worth the tears. He can’t blame me anymore. I don’t have to explain anything because it’s all too clear. He was just playing with me. I gave up my happiness for him and this is what I get. I’ve wasted a lot on him and he has to pay back.

It was the worst thing a man would ever do to me. He doesn’t have any idea on how it feels to be insulted that way… I let someone go because I thought he’d be mine forever…but, he’ll never be.

[Why do ball-throwing men always get to mess with me?!]

I couldn’t feel him anymore. I don’t want to feel him anymore. It’s just not worth the DAMN tears…but then, I still had to try.

Now, I can’t cry anymore. I lost him…there’s nothing worth crying about that. There’s actually no need to cry about that. About letting go?! Well, I never let him go because I never really had him. He just passed by to make me fall again..to make me believe all that was then was there still. But, we could never admit the fact that it’s dead. Everything between us is dead, and it won’t ever be the same again.

He promised that if he’d ever hurt me again, he’ll never forgive himself. Well, he might as well start dying now… He did hurt me.

Yes, it does hurt. But I’ve done all I could to save what had been left.

Its over… at last.

and I hope i would be happy again.

iris