Ok, I know that I am. I have no right to deny it.
But, I love him.One of those supposedly stupid reasons again. I’m hopelessly in love with him and I was just too stupid to make things right. I can’t help it. I know what had been wrong.
I need help. As in real help… I just lost myself.
I don’t really have much tears to shed. We both know this would happen. Maybe it was all because I never thought it would be too soon. It would be a long time before I could really cope up with the realizations that you’re away from me. Somehow, I’m trying to give this a try.
Admittingly, I’ve never been good enough with long-distance affairs. I was never patient with time. But maybe, believing you’d stay would make up for whatever lost time we have. After all, it would only be 3 years.
Uh, I don’t know. I don’t want to feel anything else right now. I would be missing you. I’d be missing the nights when you’d walk me home although you never really had to. The smiles you give even i I don’t feel like smiling back. The hugs you share when I just want to cry my tears out. I’d miss everything about you - and much more.
But somehow, I would not have to cry anymore. You won’t be here to wipe my tears dry. It won’t be worth the pain. Besides no one else could make me smile the way you do. After all, this isn’t really goodbye. If it is, then to accept it, I would try.
It would be hard, painful and long. But I’d stay. Nothing really matters much… except knowing that I love you and you love me. It’s all that matters.
