immediate reactions

I feel so much better now. Maybe this should just happen to end all miseries. I knew it was supposed to happen. What else could I expect? After all, I know it would end up to this in the first place.

So, maybe, you’d ask, why I stuck up with this against all obvious signs?

This makes me happy. He makes me happy. I don’t know what else can. It doesn’t matter what we talk about or why we argue. The only thing that comes to my mind is that I have him and I’m loved.

It does hurt and I wonder why I never cried. But it’s the best thing I can do to myself and to him. If accepting things this way would make me a little bit smarter, then I decide to go for it.

It’s what makes me happy.

I’ve had hopes. I knew they’d fail. But at least, it made me believe in something. I still have my heart back. After all, it’s just what matters…

If someone asks me if I’d eat 5 cups of atiatihan rice again, the answer would be a big NO! I don’t want to be fat. That’s the most honest thing about myself. Hello! I really, really  love my anorexic figure, though people say I should try eating a lot. I’ve also learned that I shouldn’t go eating with the good guys again… (orval and manoi…) I wonder why they make me eat too much. I’m not that thin!!!